Saturday, January 24, 2015

What is, What I Wish and What Will Someday Be

My Darling Jonathan,

Today is your third Birthday, three years ago on this day I held you in my arms and you changed my heart forever.

Today the pain is not as bad as it was the last two years, the Lord heard my cry for help. Psalm 22:24

Today we will remember you and celebrate you.

Today I will speak your name with pride and say I have a son in Heaven. Luke 18:15-16

Today I will remember that Jesus knows my suffering, he feels and sees my pain. John 11:35

Today I will let go of all of the negative memories surrounding your birth and remember the beautiful ones...
Seeing daddy cuddle you on his chest like he did with all his other boys, taking your picture, singing to you, the way a special nurse made me feel that your were so important, praying over you, saying one last goodbye knowing I will see you again.

Today I will tell your Brothers and Sister all about you and how important you are.

Today I will reflect on all the good you did for my heart, how you brought me closer to Jesus. 
James 1:12

Today tears will slip down my checks but my Jesus will catch every single one. 
Psalm 56:8

Today I will worship and Praise Jesus for his word is true, I mourned and he comforted me. 
Matthew 5:4

What I Wish

I wish you were here so much more than this sentence could ever convey.

I wish I was picking out a cake and decorations and that I could see your eyes light up like Jojo's did a couple of weeks ago.

I wish the house was a little louder, a little messier, a little smaller because you were here with us.

I wish that Jesse was holding you in this picture and Shayla was a perfect little girl sandwich in between my boys.

I wish people would understand how happy it makes me when they speak your name and acknowledge my love for you.

I wish every mother that has experienced an agonizing goodbye to their baby would feel the peace of Jesus that I feel. 
Psalm 147:3

I wish so very much I could see you, even for an instant and hold you close.

What will someday be

Someday I will stand face to face with the one that redeemed my soul and made it possible for me to see my you again. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Someday all this pain and surfing will be wiped away and the one who knows my pain and has caught every tear, will comfort every sorrow in my heart. Revelation 21:4 

Someday I will comfort another with the comfort I have recived and so fulfill Gods plan. 

Corinthians 1:3-4

Someday my hearts desire will be fulfilled and I will wrap my arms around you and hold you tight
2 Samuel 12:23

Someday I will know the meaning of loss, and suffering and I will worship and praise God with complete understanding 1 Corinthians 13:12 

Someday all the cares and worries of this world will be washed away and eternal joy is all that will remain. 1 Corinthians 2:9

Jonathan, I would of chosen a different plan...a long happy life for you. BUT. I trust that God's plan is far better, his ways are higher than mine. One day every wrong will be made right, my heart and every heart that trusts in Jesus will be healed from the brokenness of this earth.

I miss you baby boy and I always will. I will hide you in my heart, I will remember all the good,  I will cherish every minute I held you, I will look at your picture and rejoice that I will see you again. 

From, your Loving mommy,
on your third birthday

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort
2 Corinthians 1:3

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Jojo Turned 4

My little, big boy turned four last week. He was so cute and funny on his Birthday, he has a personality like no other that is for sure:) It was Sunday so after Church I rushed home to set up a surprise for him. He LOVED walking in the house to his presents, cake and a few decoration...Four your olds are really easy to please, HA! It was a rainy day so we opted to stay in and have a Pajama movie party, we all had a lot of fun just being at home together.

The kids hiding to surprise Jojo
Jesse capturing the memories
I love this picture, he was littering jumping with joy!
Daddy's Boy
PJ party
By far Jojo's favorite gift was a rubber frog...I knew he liked frogs but I can not believe how much he love this thing. He has hardly put it down since his birthday, he even sleeps with it:)
These two look like they are having a blast:)
More Frog;)
It was a really fun day. We LOVE our Jojo sooooo much!

"Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father
Matthew 18:10

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A last few Tennessee Memories

We have been home a week but I am just getting around to my blog. Our last week in Tennessee my Mamaw started Chemotherapy, it was really hard and sad for me. She actually did pretty well with the treatment but knowing I had to leave her when she was sick was heartbreaking. I came home and felt emotionally and physically drained. Of coarse our first week back was busy with school, a birthday party, putting tons of stuff away and dentist appointments. Now I am sick and feeling pretty crummy but mostly praying no one else get it! I miss everyone in Tn so much my heart actually hurts.

Here are last few Tennessee memories

my baby turned into a boy with a sword overnight
There were lots of relaxing days for the boys
Shayla and Jojo got to have a sleepover with Anna and Gideon
The fun continued with the neighborhood boys daily.

How I love my cuddly little boys!
Cousin Greg came by for a few visits the kids loved his uniform!

The boys had a BLAST with their airsoft guns UNTIL... 


Yep Jimmy managed to take a bullet right in the front tooth:/ Unbelievable! What did mommy say when  I saw it? "There goes the $5,000 dollars smile"...He just got his braces off. What did Daddy say? "Dumb mistakes you make in childhood stick with you forever" Well we went to the dentist the day after we got home and it was a pretty easy quick fix, thank the Lord! The 5,000 dollar smile has been restored:)

I have been missing my Mamaw and Tennessee SO much. Honestly it is so very hard to say goodbye it makes my heart long for Heaven when we will all be together forever.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.Numbers 6:24-26
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