Monday, February 20, 2012



I cried out to God today and ask him this pain to take away.
I ask him why this pain he gave?

My sweet child, he replied to me,
I give only peace not misery.

Then where are you amidst this pain, surely I am alone
and have loved in vain.

No my daughter I am there, feel me wipe your every tear.
The pain you feel I do know, and cry with you in your sorrow.

I miss my baby can't you see, why oh why did he have to leave?
How I wanted to watch him grow, to hug, kiss and hold him close.

He is safe here with me, heaven is blessed by him you see.
He is loved, he is well, Papaw and Papa's little pal.
We will love him until your here and care for him each passing year.
Someday soon you will meet, then you will kiss his little cheek.
Eternity will be enough, to make up for lost years on earth.

Jesus, Jesus I cry out, help me love and worship you now.
Even in the darkest days, I want to always give you praise.
You are just and you know best, your plans are good and I will rest.
In the peace of this place, and even now seek your face.
Forgive me for my lack of faith, I need you in these trying days.
Keep my baby safe with you, help my strength to be renewed.
Forgive me when I get lost, in my sorrow let me see the cross.
How you gave your life for me, and took my sins at Calvary.

Sweet child of mine do not fear, I am with you, I am near.
I know your sorrow and your pain, my Son also died, but not in vain.
My love for you will go on, even when yours is not strong.
My love for you will never change, you will see my rainbow through this rain. Your sweet son is safe with me, until we're together eternally.

Thank you Jesus all is well I seem to feel you presence now,
the storm you calmed within my heart.
Should tomorrow it return, I know that you will do your part.
Taking this pain and making me whole,
all I must do is seek you with all of my heart, mind, and soul.
By, Tesha Papik


Holly said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Jonathan. I have added him to my Angel Friends list. xo

My name is Heather. said...

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this loss. I am not far into this terrible journey, less than 6 months, but I can tell you while it doesn't "go away", the pain gets less often. Your post about returning to daily life, and not wanting to push him to the back of your mind at all, ALL things I felt exactly in the first few months. I don't know how long it took me to get back into the "cleaning schedule", and life things....I would say almost 4 or 5 months...though it's never the same as it was. Things like that don't matter anymore to me. I didn't go out in public (except church, which was the hardest) for a few months. If I had to go, I went late at night when I knew I wouldn't see anyone I knew, whether they knew about our losses or not. If you need to talk, my email is

Prayers and calling out to God, even in anger are what has sustained me. Pulling closer to my husband and daughter as well.

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