Friday, May 11, 2012

A little bit of love goes a long way

I have not been very lovable lately. I have been really down to say the least, Jonathan should be joining us soon and it is really hard for me to think about that. I get up every morning and look at his little urn next to my bed and brush back tears. I know this is a season in my life and things will get better. I am so thankful for the love from my husband and kids in this difficult time. Some nights my 14 year old makes dinner, He is becoming quite the chef. My husband is tender and compassionate and does little things to make me feel loved. This is what he brought home for me just because he wants me to know he cares, a few of my favorite things! He walked in with the flowers and then pulled out one item at a time, he knew the anticipation would make me smile. 
 The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite ourselves. 
-Unknown

Love doesn't give a person what they deserve, 
but what they need. 
-Unknown

Thank you Lord that you and my family gives me what I need rather than what I deserve. 

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8

34 comments:

Dandelion Breeze said...

Beautiful flowers for a wonderful mum... hope more peace comes with each day xo

Amy said...

Tesha you are in my prayers each day, I am so sorry for your pain.
Thank you for being there for me when I am hurting, I'm here for you too my friend.

Jenn said...

{{{hugs}}} Tesha! Be gentle on yourself. Where you are right now is so difficult, I know I had trouble just doing mundane things and my kids also took over a lot of the housework & cooking. It's one day at a time, one hour at time.... <3

Trennia said...

That is so sweet of your husband and children (((hugs)))
The flowers are beautiful!

Kristy said...

The flowers are beautiful and what a sweet thing to do. This journey is so hard. I'm here for you. I know we've never met but I feel like Ive known you for years.

Nan & Mike said...

I agree, be gentle on yourself...you are always loveable sweet friend...remember that some days you need to reserve for you...I know you are a giver but thats hard to do constantly, take some time for you....so glad you have loved ones who make you feel good too...so sweet! Love you!!! xoxoxo

Jennifer Ross said...

That was so sweet of your husband! I love getting surprises too! :O)

The deep sadness seems to linger for awhile, and then one day you get up, and you are able to push it away for a little bit, so you can do the things that you need to do for your family. It's always there, but you are able to "hide" it, if you will.

Holding you in my thoughts and prayers....

twisteddomesticgoddess said...

Tesha I am so happy that you have a husband that shares your faith.I was not as lucky when we lost Reed and it put even more of a toll on me. You are a very blessed momma and very loved as well.

Ashley said...

SO sorry :( This is such a hard moment to live through and you are coping so well as can be excepted. What a wonderful husband!! ((Hugs))

Wiley's Mommy said...

How sweet of your family! You are a wonderful Mother!! The flowers are so pretty!

Kacie said...

I remember all to well the fog I was in and the numbness I felt for months following Isaac's birth. It's ok to not be yourself. That doesn't mean you're not lovable. Let those that love you continue to take care of you. You will never forget Jonathan or miss him any less, but things do get better I promise. Lots of prayers and hugs!!!!

~VickB~ said...

I know exactly how you feel and you are not alone in this journey. You are so blessed with a loving, caring family! Glad they could make you smile when you were feeling down. *big hugs* love, Victoria

Alecia said...

I wouldn't want to be loved like I deserved!! I'm so thankful for the unconditional love of God and my family. What a sweet surprise from your husband! The flowers are beautiful. I hope you have a great weekend!!

Pink Slippers said...

That was very sweet from hubby. And Lil Jimmy is an awesome young man!

Kathy said...

So sweet-beautiful flowers! Love those quotes :)

The Kimmels said...

What a sweet husband you have. I made dinner all by myself the other night and I was quite proud because I have only done it a handful of times since my boys were born. I remember these times of such pain and heartache so well. There is nothing that can take that pain away and there is no way around it. Just know that it will change. There is hope that someday it won't be as raw. I won't say it ever gets "better" or that you won't miss Jonathan, but the hardest of hard days will soon grow fewer and farther between. Prayers for you!

Piece-of-Cake Parent said...

That was such a lovely gesture! We love our mags. I asked for a subscription to my favorite magazine DWELL for Mother's Day.

Anita said...

I am so very sorry for your pain.

I pray that through the amazing love and comfort we receive from God, that you will feel His arms wrapped around you. x

Christine said...

What a sweet hubby and son. Tell them we said so. I am praying, friend. Your sadness grips my heart and compels me to pray, so it is good to share it.

Happy Mother's Day!

Kallie said...

Happy Mothers day! My thoughts and prayers are with you this weekend especially!

Allison Renee said...

Beautifully said. May the Lord bring healing in His time:) So glad that you have a supportive family.

Deanna said...

that is such a sweet and thoughtful husband!!!
continuing you in my prayers :))

Memoirs of Me & Mine said...

Sending hugs!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

You got me in tears here. That is the sweetest thing that he did for you. He loves you so much and wants to heal your pain. ((HUGS))

Elizabeth said...

What a wonderful husband! This week has been really difficult for me too..I think it's the impending fear of Mother's Day. I am really hopeful that we can all manage to set aside the pain and just enjoy our day on Sunday. One possible idea...though you may absolutely not want to do this...we all grieve differently and need different things. Have you considered relocating the urn? Maybe you're day might be brighter if you didn't face it first thing. I was going to do a shadow box on the wall for Ryan like I did for my other two children, but ultimately decided to do a memory box instead. That way I can tuck it away and come back to it if I need to. Some days, I put on my necklace with the initials of all of my children...some days I wear my "Ryan" ring...and some days I am okay and I just get up and get ready. All of these things are tucked safely away within close reach if/when I need them, but I positioned them so that they are not staring me in the face when I go to sleep/rise. It might help your insomnia a little bit. Just a thought....HUGELY personal decision, but don't feel bad or guilty if you decide to move it. It is okay not to look at it right when you wake up. Jonathan would want you to wake up happy and get plenty of sleep at night. He would want Mommy to be happy. I know I had a really hard time moving either of my children out of the bassinet/my side of the bed...maybe this is similar for you. Much Love to you...may you find joy in the laughter of your children and a more organized "heart" this week!

Elizabeth said...

*your day, not you're day..sorry..I am beat!

Karen said...

Hugs to you! It is a difficult road to travel, but God will hold you along the way! It does get better, slowly...

Please know that you have been a blessing to so many. Keeping you in my prayers.

Denise said...

Your children are truly blessed to be able to have you for their mom, you are precious.

April said...

Tesha,
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don't. The only thing I can say is I know exactly how you feel. I know the months, weeks, days and minutes leading up to Jonathan's due date are pure torture. I wish you peace in the days ahead ♥

Sherri said...

Oh YOU deserve everything...your a Great mom and wife!
I am sorry your having such a hard time! Your amazing at expressing your feelings....I can't even begin to imagine all the lives you bless! :)

Kim said...

Your family sounds so sweet. Those flowers are gorgeous. I am so sorry, dear friend, for these difficult days. I am sending you lots of love and peace.

Laurie and company said...

hugs to you, sweetness.
you are precious.
Praying for you.
xoxo
LY

Allison said...

What a sweet husband and kiddos you have!

Hannah Rose said...

Looks like a nice little package of love! So thankful you have that wonderful love and support! :)

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