Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Walk With Sorrow

"I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chattered all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me."
~Robert Browning Hamilton

My walk lately has been with sorrow,
 what am I learning?

  • It is humiliating humbling to have an emotional breakdown in front of others.
  • As much as I like to think I'm humble, I'm not .

  • In really dark times it's best to, keep your mouth shut.
  • In really dark times it's best to, speak up.

  • Very few people will walk with me in my grief.
  • It is OK, if very few people walk with me in my grief.

  • Jesus is the one I must cling to for healing and wholeness not others.
  • Jesus still wants me to love and trust others, even though they let me down.

  • I have to press in to Gods word and presence to find healing.
  • There will never be complete healing on earth, that is what Heaven is for.

Adversity introduces a woman to herself. 

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, 
lacking in nothing.
~James 1:2-4


Denise said...

Amen, well said.

Christine said...

Beautiful post, Tesha. It can be so lonely, I agree. I love all the poems and quotes you share. They always speak to me.

I am praying right now and will keep doing so, that you feel God's comfort today. That someone will reach out and love you well today. Love to you. Yes, God's word and presence are everything, but he can send hugs from someone too.

Jennifer Ross said...

I love your list Tesha! It is so so true....

Blessings on your day...

Hillary said...

I adore the idea of being "steadfast" in regards to the Lord! It's one of the few ideals that have gotten me through the ordeals of the past couple of years. When my head is confused and my mind is wandering to a thousand different places I focus steadfastly on Him! He centers me and provides the clarity that I need so much these days!

Sorry this comment is a little rambling this morning :). I need more coffee!


Jennie said...

Very true. There are so many things that the Lord teaches us in our sorrows. I hate this is they way I have to learn those things, but like you I am so eternally grateful for His presence in my life.
Hugs Tesha, I hope you feel lots of peace and love today.f

Elle's mommy said...

lacking nothing Tesha, lacking nothing...God is always changing us. I loved this today, thank you for posting. I've been thinking of you and praying for peace with the path that God has chosen for you and your family...

Laurie and company said...

such good lessons.
so glad that you are seeing these are truly loved.
wow...thanks Tesha, for posting this. words fitly spoken are like apples of silver in pictures of gold.
love from Indy, dear one!
In Jesus' name, we press on (that song is on my iPod right now)

Beth said...

Yes and yes and yes. I am learning many of these same lessons, and they are not easy. I'm glad I'm not the only one learning them, though -- glad to know that I'm not a failure because I have to learn them. We are not failures. We are growing. Thanks for reminding me of that, friend. Big hugs.

By the way, I just want to say THANK YOU for following my blog (or commenting on it? I can't remember which came first). Anyway, whichever it was, it helped me to find you, and I feel that we might well be good friends if we ever met face to face. Even though it's not been very long, I count you as a dear friend. Perhaps it's the openness, the honesty and vulnerability of your writing that helps me to feel that I know you. I'm not sure what it is...all I know is that I'm grateful for YOU. Biggest hugs, sister in Christ.

Trennia said...

That is a beautiful outlook,I am willing to walk with you :)
I never want you to feel alone (((HUGS)))

Sara said...

Thanks for sharing Tesha... I am praying for you friend... Your honesty shows your humbleness and desire to walk with God through this! Much love!

Elizabeth said...

Grieve out loud, Tesha...if they won't hear it, I will!

Pink Slippers said...

I heard a sermon last night from Pastor Warner. What spoke out loud to me was the question--Will we serve Jesus NO MATTER WHAT. A lesson I have learned through my own trials mostly in regards to the first years of my marriage when the times got real bad. But through all the sorrow we do have hope and the prize is beyond comprehension. You will see Jonathan again and will never be separated from him when that happens. Hang in there. I think of the song--'When I Get Where I'm Going' by Brad Paisley.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) There was a time in my life when I desired my husband to attend church with me. It never happened. I had been ill and had some amazing things happen while in the hospital. I knew I wanted to find a church. I remember telling myself that I can go alone because I knew God would be sitting next to me.(I should probably write my jouney to Faith)

Ashley said...

So much truth in this post. I definitely have learned many lessons as I have walked (and continue to walk) in sorrow. Thanks for sharing.

Betty said...

So very true.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. (((hugs)))

Deanna said...

Hi Tesha!!!!!!!!

Oh, I've kept you in my prayers sweet friend while I took a blogging break:)

I have to tell you that I know about these two bullet points:

*In really dark times it's best to, keep your mouth shut.
In really dark times it's best to, speak up.

*Very few people will walk with me in my grief.
It is OK, if very few people walk with me in my grief.

((( During my time of sorrow and grief and sadness and heart-breaking I wanted to share it with others. Somehow, I felt that if I just kept sharing that finally someone would say that one thing that would quick-fix the pain. Not only did I find out how untrue my thoughts were, I learned something else. I learned that I couldn't share this with just 'anyone', as I found that some would just listen and nod, and say, "yes." ...that made me become bitter. Later I confessed this bitterness, to my Lord for forgiveness -and He is faithful to forgive and restore.

It was through this thought of ‘when to be quiet’, and ‘when to speak up’ that it lead me to the next bullet point you shared. That is, that very few people would walk with me. My heart broke even a little more when my own very-best-sister-friend (of years) avoided me.

God did bless me with one friend however, the unlikeliest one of all!! Don't you just love HIS humor:) And she walked a long time with me -to the very end in fact. She walked a dark and ugly road with me to the end where the Lord was leading me into HIS embrace. She couldn’t come with me to finish my walk with grief, but that’s okay –just like Jesus told me, “It’s okay,” because Jesus is more than enough. I’ll never forget her, for she carried my cross with me. She was my “Simon from Cyrene” (Mark 15:21) I know now that there are people out there, who love Jesus like this.

It's so hard to be going through the pain of just 'what is'. Let alone to have to learn these things that you've shared. One day, these *things* will be the things that will always remind you, remind us –yes Jesus is alive, and He is with me to the end.

Deep sorrow is never easy, nor pretty. But there is nothing sweeter than Jesus' promise. I know it; He is close to the brokenhearted.

Sweet friend you are not alone, even when it seems like it.

One more time I’d like to say it, “I don’t know the pain you know as a baby-loss-mom.” And because I can’t see the big picture like God can, I wish this could go away, and that Jonathan was with his mommy.

Just as Jonathan is healed, you will be too. Your love for your baby boy will never diminish, but the agony that seems to cling so tightly with its sharp claws will begin to. Sometimes things get harder before they get better, -don't forget that God is not rushing you to carry on as normal.

A thousand years are as a day for the Lord, as a day is as a thousand years to our Lord. And in time, in all the time you need, the cloud will lift.

And in these days keep doing those sweet little things with your children that are here. For surely the milk mustache on your little girl and those baby curls on your little boy are priceless. )))

With so much love in Jesus,

Oh, since I am catching up here at your blog--- just wanna say that the book of Job is long. Remember that when your heart starts to wonder about the ‘ifs’ and the ‘shouldn’ts’, it's okay if your blog posts seem to be long about how your heart is truly feeling. It's okay. It's okay to share with the ebb and flow of God’s grace.

PPS- from one blonde to another …. I didn’t edit, yikes hope I made sense!

Dandelion Breeze said...

Thinking of you always xoxo

Katie said...

Don't you treasure those few who really walk with you in your grief? Wow, it's truly a gift to do this, I believe.

I've never heard that first poem you shared. So true!

Pressing on with you, girl.

Alida said...

Amen! Thank you so much for allowing others to walk through this with you.

~Nikki~ said...

such hard lessons to learn too *sigh*

Sherri said...

Oh this makes me cry!
I am afraid...that I have let down a few people over the years that were grieving inside...and I don't think I recognized it! You can't grasp death of a child if you haven't experienced it! I have had two late miscarriages...both at 15 weeks...but I didn't hold the is just different! I am thankful for the honesty of my online friends...because I will be a better friend if I am faced with a grieving friend or family member!

Becky said...

Thanks for posting this, Tesha. These pairs of lessons oppose one another, yet are both true. They capture much of what I am feeling...thanks for sharing.

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