We are in Yuma Arizona. We left for Bible conference early to stop in Yuma for some cowboy sightseeing. Sadly Joseph has a high fever and I was up all night with him. So we rested in the room while the boys and my MIL went on some wild west adventures. The kids are loving pool time and eating out.
Posing as inmates at Yuma Prison museum.
As we played in the pool I felt happier than I have since Jonathan died for a brief moment. I was aware of my smile and really feeling peaceful.
Then sadly I thought of what should be. Jonathan should be napping in his infant car seat as we play in the pool. I should of only been able to pack skirts instead of dresses because of nursing. I should have my little baby boy growing right before my eyes. Everything I do, I think of where Jonathan would be and what he should be doing. I know time will make this better, but it is sad to think of him like this and all that we are missing without him.
I will do my best to focus on my kids and husband and enjoy them this week but is really hard to not think of what should of been. I am praying no one else gets sick and God speaks to me at the conference.
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”