Saturday, May 18, 2013

All Our Goings-On

The last few days and the next few are slightly crazy.  We are finishing our last week of homeschooling, Thursday and it is oh so busy. My days have been filled with Algebra and Science. Because Jimmy was behind he has been working ALL day for many days in a row, however the end is in sight!!!  


I am still struggling with anxiety and fear over the baby, especially at night. I also have been particularly sad over Jonathan. It is so difficult I can not even talk about it or put it in to words. To help cope I have been taking nightly walks by myself or with Jo Jo in the stroller. On walks I can think and pray. I often sing worship songs, which gets me some pretty funny looks. Last night on our walk Jo Jo sang with me the whole time and how beautiful his sweet mumbles are! In other attempts to calm my heart I have been reading the Bible every night before bed and having the kids pray for me.


Today is our Church's Annual Walk To Africa, the boys will be running/walking this year. I am so proud of the impact we have in Africa. It is my dream to take Jimmy on one of the trips... maybe in a couple of years:)

In the midst of all the work we are still finding time to enjoy the sunshine and head to the park.
MY FIRST BELLY SHOT...17 weeks
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The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.
Psalm 121:8

10 comments:

Kallie said...

Belly shot? What belly? Lol Praying for you always!

Pink Slippers said...

We pray for you and baby everyday. Even the people in our church. Happy Belated Mother's Day. I asked Mary Lou if as a Mother you ever stop worrying about your children and her reply was that even with her 18 year old son she lost in a car accident she still worrys about him and he is in heaven. A Mother's heart is always thinking and loving her children here or in heaven.

Andrea said...

My belly beats yours and I'm not pregnant..ha..luckily I look older (and am) so nobody can ask me if I'm pregnant. tsk on me!

I'm sorry you are so sad over Jonathan. He is so miraculously happy in heaven and appreciative that you gave him life! But I know you are sad because you miss him so.
It will take longer for your memories to heal.

I love the swing pictures. It seems long ago that my kids were little and we used to go to parks, etc. Time flies!

Denise said...

Praying for you my friend.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Praying for your comfort, asking for God to bring you peace of mind. I think going for your walks is a great idea. Those are the best times to feel relaxed. Looks like some fun times at the beach. Enjoy your summer off from schoool. ((HUGS))

L said...

I'm sorry for all the feelings you are having about Jonathan! I don't know if it helps when I tell you that they are completely normal? You'll feel like you're on a rollercoaster ride, emotionally. You'll have a lot come up when your new baby is born. BUT ... that new baby, your "rainbow", will bring you incredible healing too. I promise. :)

The Heart's Hunger said...

Phewf!! on the home school front, teehee. That's some crunch time on some serious subjects.

Sweet Tesha, I'm sorry you are struggling this way. The word sorry isn't for pity, just wanted to be clear about that. But, really if all pain and suffering on this side of heaven could be gone in an instant I'd be on that bandwagon in a heart beat!!!

I can only think that you are so normal to feel and miss your Jonathan. It's been a little while since your last pregnancy and with the complications I bet it's so fresh in your loving momma's heart to be concerned for the new arrival making #7 !!! What a house full--- I was hoping to hear, just maybe, maybe your sweet girl might have a sister, but we both know boys are totally precious because all babies are miracles and gifts from the Giver of Good and Perfect things.

Bless you sweet friend and I hope your nightly walks helps your heart when getting settled in for the night's rest.

With Love, Deanna

COUNTRY MOM said...

Praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery for you and your blessing. I am sorry you are struggling and for the loss of your precious Jonathan. I pray for your peace and comfort. I am 17 weeks (Expecting our 9th blessing) and homeschool as well. Love your belly pic :) Many Blessings

brigette said...

You are one amazing mama!! I'm with the others what belly??? You are TINY still. Praying for you mama!!!

Kristy Quinn said...

Eeeep!!! I didn't know you were expecting! Praise God! Oh sweet friend, I know your heart aches so very deep and I also know that the devil will do what he can to rob you of your joy right now. Don't let him mama. Keep singing those hymns. Keep reading your Bible. Claim Psalm 34:4 Keep reminding yourself that this is a new life. I remember after I lost mine. Oh how I was damaged. (still am in some ways) I was so hurt it almost broke up my marriage. And then on top of it I wasn't so sure I ever wanted children again. I mean, why would I? Who wants to place themselves in a vulnerable position again. That would be stupid right. By human worldly standards it would be. I guess I can call myself stupid because God gently urged me to hold on to Him and not let go of hope. Boy am I glad he did Tesha! I had 4 healthy thriving babies after I lost that one. Oh how my heart cries out when I think how close I was to not having those girls. I feel your pain. I will pray for you and your little blessing you carry in your womb right now. Remember, the devil wants to rob you of the joy that God wants you to have. Fight him mama. *hugs*

Kristy

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