As school approached I was filled with anxiety that I could not do it. To be honest I felt like a complete failure. Mostly because I have spent four years trying to teach Jadon to read and He could not read a single sentence without a MAJOR struggle. I was consumed with fear that I was ruining him and probably my other kids also. Anxiety is never a balanced perspective. I was focusing on one thing and not even considering the big picture or the fact that my 10th grader passed the California High School exit exam with flying colors (most students do not pass until their Senior year).
When I started this year I felt hopeless BUT I had prayed and felt that God wanted me to continue to homeschool. One thing I was terrified of was Shayla having the same struggles that Jadon has in reading. I just keep thinking I can not do it again. I was also at a stand still with Jadon and felt hopeless. I prayed and prayed and asked God to please bring breakthrough for Jadon.
Well I am beyond happy to report that the breakthrough did come! Our Charter School had Jadon tested and he qualified for outside help. Now that is not something I would of been to happy about say in Kindergarten or first grade but after 4 years of giving it my all I knew we needed help. Jadon now has a wonderful tutor 3 days a week and meets with a special education teacher once a week. I am beyond thrilled to report that I see vast improvement in a very short time. Some days can still be hard but I am not hopeless, I cried out to Jesus for help and I got it!!!
Oh by the way that fearfulness about Shayla was a waste of energy...She has floored me, she learned her ABC's and sounds in a month and started reading before Christmas! She loves school and I enjoy every minute of teaching her!
Yes there are difficult days when the baby is sick and Jojo is into EVERYTHING but I am so very happy I did not give up, that I did not quite. There are times when God calls a homeschooling mommy to go down a different path but that was not my case, mine was just plain old burnout.
I feel happy and excited for the years ahead I have with my kids! Jimmy is a Junior he only takes four classes next year, graduation is right around the corner and you know what...I am so happy I had these years here at home with him. I am so happy that my relationship with my kids takes priority over a clean house or my free time. Little Jimmy and I go to the gym together everyday, we talk, we laugh and have a blast. He told me a couple of days ago that he really enjoys our talks:) I cherish all these memory that are made possible by homeschooling. (Oh and with the end in sight I am no longer intimidated, I know I can make it all the way to graduation!)
So here is my encouragement to any homeschooling Mommy that might read this, don't give up!!! Seek God's help, talk to a veteran homeschooling mommy, believe that God is able to come through even in the bleakest looking circumstance! Your kids are worth it! I promise one day it will feel like you blinked and one will be graduating from High School.
Now I have to say thank you...
Thank you to all the homeschooling mommy bloggers that paint a real picture but urge me to keep pressing on Wendy, Christine, Lisa, Sara,Laurie, Pattie, Becca, Miranda, Jenn, Leanne, Allison, Jessica . Thank you to my faithful friend that loves me and labors in prayer for me. Thank you to my incredible husband that has listened to me quit dozens of times and then gently encourages me to press on. Thank you to my awesome kids that forgive me when I am tired and frustrated. Thank you to my amazing Sister-in-law that has been an example to me and such a source of encouragement. On weary days I picture her in her little house, with her MANY children teaching just like I am and I know I am not alone. I often shoot up a quick prayer for her and I know she is doing the same for me!
Last but not least thank you Jesus for helping me and coming through with help for Jadon! Mostly thank you that you never give up on me, help me Lord to NEVER give up on something you have called me to do!
This how our homeschooling mornings start...with prayer and cuddling on the couch
Pictures are not appreciated
HERE is great web sight for moms teaching dyslexic kids.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.