Saturday, January 24, 2015

What is, What I Wish and What Will Someday Be

My Darling Jonathan,

Today is your third Birthday, three years ago on this day I held you in my arms and you changed my heart forever.

Today the pain is not as bad as it was the last two years, the Lord heard my cry for help. Psalm 22:24

Today we will remember you and celebrate you.

Today I will speak your name with pride and say I have a son in Heaven. Luke 18:15-16

Today I will remember that Jesus knows my suffering, he feels and sees my pain. John 11:35

Today I will let go of all of the negative memories surrounding your birth and remember the beautiful ones...
Seeing daddy cuddle you on his chest like he did with all his other boys, taking your picture, singing to you, the way a special nurse made me feel that your were so important, praying over you, saying one last goodbye knowing I will see you again.

Today I will tell your Brothers and Sister all about you and how important you are.

Today I will reflect on all the good you did for my heart, how you brought me closer to Jesus. 
James 1:12

Today tears will slip down my checks but my Jesus will catch every single one. 
Psalm 56:8

Today I will worship and Praise Jesus for his word is true, I mourned and he comforted me. 
Matthew 5:4

What I Wish

I wish you were here so much more than this sentence could ever convey.

I wish I was picking out a cake and decorations and that I could see your eyes light up like Jojo's did a couple of weeks ago.

I wish the house was a little louder, a little messier, a little smaller because you were here with us.

I wish that Jesse was holding you in this picture and Shayla was a perfect little girl sandwich in between my boys.

I wish people would understand how happy it makes me when they speak your name and acknowledge my love for you.

I wish every mother that has experienced an agonizing goodbye to their baby would feel the peace of Jesus that I feel. 
Psalm 147:3

I wish so very much I could see you, even for an instant and hold you close.

What will someday be

Someday I will stand face to face with the one that redeemed my soul and made it possible for me to see my you again. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Someday all this pain and surfing will be wiped away and the one who knows my pain and has caught every tear, will comfort every sorrow in my heart. Revelation 21:4 

Someday I will comfort another with the comfort I have recived and so fulfill Gods plan. 

Corinthians 1:3-4

Someday my hearts desire will be fulfilled and I will wrap my arms around you and hold you tight
2 Samuel 12:23

Someday I will know the meaning of loss, and suffering and I will worship and praise God with complete understanding 1 Corinthians 13:12 

Someday all the cares and worries of this world will be washed away and eternal joy is all that will remain. 1 Corinthians 2:9

Jonathan, I would of chosen a different plan...a long happy life for you. BUT. I trust that God's plan is far better, his ways are higher than mine. One day every wrong will be made right, my heart and every heart that trusts in Jesus will be healed from the brokenness of this earth.

I miss you baby boy and I always will. I will hide you in my heart, I will remember all the good,  I will cherish every minute I held you, I will look at your picture and rejoice that I will see you again. 

From, your Loving mommy,
on your third birthday

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort
2 Corinthians 1:3


Christine said...

What a beautiful picture of a mother's heart and of the Lord's power and work in our lives, of his mercy and love, faithfulness and lovingkindness. I am sad, but am moved by this tribute to Jonathan and to the Lord Jesus, your Savior.

Thinking of you and your family today.

Jenn @Treasuring Lifes Blessings said...

Wow Tesha, I can't believe Jonathan would be 3 already!! Happy Birthday precious boy! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and his precious foot & hand prints. My heart aches for you as I know what a bittersweet day this is. SO thankful for the promises of Heaven & knowing we'll hug our boys for eternity before we know it! (((hugs))) momma!

Kathy said...

Absolutely beautiful Tesha. You are an amazing woman and mother. I love you and am praying for you my friend.

Hannah Rose said...

This is a beautiful post.

Happy 3rd Birthday in Heaven, sweet Jonathan! I truly cannot believe he would already be 3! We first connected in the "blog world" shortly after he was born.

Tesha, I pray your family has a beautiful and peaceful day of remembrance and celebration and that you feel Jesus oh so near. Praying for you!

With love from NC, Hannah Rose

Shauna said...

Happy 3rd Angel Birthday <3 Jonathan <3

Emma Liston said...

This is so sweet...I have followed your blog for a while- and you have such a beautiful family and such a strong faith in God. I pray that you always will and that He will uphold you through whatever comes your way.

Jessica said...

This was beautiful. Thinking and praying for you today.

Hillary said...

Happy Belated Birthday sweet Jonathan! You are soo loved and soo missed! xoxox

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Happy Third Birthday Jonathan!
What a beautiful post with all the promises (Bible verses) that have given to us from our Heavenly Father.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Jonathan! What a sweet post your mommy wrote. It made me cry. It is a blessing beyond words that we will one day see our babies in heaven! Tesha - this really is such a good post. Hugs and prayers.

Allison said...

Happy Birthday to Jonathan. What a precious and loving mother you are Tesha!

Kim said...

Precious precious precious. I thought about you lots this weekend. I'm sorry I am just now getting on here. Your children are all so gorgeous. Sending lots of love♥

Kallie said...

what a beautiful tribune to your sweet boy! Thinking of you always!

Kallie said...

what a beautiful tribune to your sweet boy! Thinking of you always!

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